Resigning myself to look 4 weeks postpartum for the rest of my life.
Sunday, June 27, 2010 at 1:36PM Well, maybe that's slightly dramatic. Slightly.
I have been paying attention lately to articles about weight loss, different tips and tricks and things I should be doing now that the babe has been sprung from my loins (such a lovely turn of phrase). While I was pregnant and not gaining, I ate everything I wanted, doctor's orders! Two carbs in addition to protein and dessert? Sure! Pile it on! I have weight to gain!
I tell everyone that is, or thinking about becoming pregnant, it's the best part of the whole experience: you can eat whatever you want! They encourage it! Oh, and that whole baby thing at the end is pretty awesome, too.
The other day I happened across Bethenny talking about her daily food intake. Let me first say, I don't hate Bethenny so anything I'm about to say isn't tainted by the fact that I dislike her. And I'm totally not hating when I say she lost all her pregnancy weight so quickly because she weighed 19 pounds before becoming pregnant, and gave birth to a tiny baby prematurely thereby missing that big push at the end where you think to yourself: "Could I possibly get any freaking bigger?" Not hating, nope.
I really did think reading what the girl eats for breakfast, lunch & dinner would be helpful and I could apply it my own postpartum self. How about, nope. Reading this, I became convinced I will never lose weight, ever again. Seriously, if eating this little is what it takes to be skinny then sign me up for The Fat Club 4 Life.
Let's look, shall we? For breakfast, Bethenny compares a low fat whole grain muffin being like a "bit of a piece of cake". No. No, Bethenny. You know what's like a bit of a piece of cake? Full fat blueberry muffins with sugar crystals on top the size of ice floes. The day I eat a low fat whole grain muffin is GREAT day on the diet scale, my friend.
And I don't know why but the idea of scooping out a perfectly good bagel irritates the shit out of me. There are times, I admit, when there is just too much bread on a sandwich and I will only eat the top or bottom. I KNOW about carbs, ok? There was one place in Phoenix where Rick and I loved their cheeseburgers, but their buns were outrageously big so we'd tear some hunks off, I get it.
But to actually buy bag of bagels, only to consume the bagel carcass is ludicrous to me. Why not buy something else less caloric? Every time I go to the grocery store now, I see a different bread item advertised as "thin" like these offered by Pepperidge Farm. Makes more sense than scooping out a whole stupid bagel.
See, I haven't even made if off of breakfast and I already want to cry from hunger. That's what it is, the whole article just made me hungry. You know that hunger when you're on a diet and your stomach feels like it's going to eat you in protest? That's the kind of hunger reading this made me. Maybe Bethenny can spare some bagel innards to tide me over til dinner.
Off the subject but still, um, on the subject... Did anyone else think it was funny at the reunion when Kelly KB would throw a dig at one of the housewives on the couch across, and Jill would pat her and say, "That was a good one!" Jill knows she's screwed for having a crazy bitch as one of her only allies and is doing her best to convince herself (and us) Kelly makes sense. "That's it, dear. *pat pat pat* You can do it, focus!"
I think I'm going to miss this season. I think I'm more glad it's over. My heart (and stomach) can't take it.
Mary | 6 Comments | Share Article tagged Bethenny Frankel, Jill Zarin, Kelly Bensimon, Real Housewives of New York |
Reader Comments (6)
awesome to see you blogging again, marmar! :)
no matter what you think, I think you look awesome!
xoox
Yay!!! Happy dance, jig of glee, cartwheels across the floor.
Ok as for the weight loss issue after baby I still 7 years later can't loose the pooch. I weighed 100 when I got pregnant and I gained 20lbs and gave birth to a 6lbs 7oz kid. Right now I'm 119. Sure we'd all love to loose the weight and look like Bethenny but as far as I'm concerned they have the time and finances to buy organic, low fat etc. I have a full time job and a life. Bethenny said that Jason changes the majority of the diapers so as far as I'm concerned she was more obsessed with her appearance than about the baby. That goes for all celebrity moms who have graced covers about how thin they are post partum. None of them would last one day in my shoes.
Far as I'm concerned I think you're gorgeous, stylish, you produced two absolutely gorgeous children and have a man that loves the dickens out of you ;)
I'm not sure who Bethenny is (one of those crazy housewifes?), but I checked out the link to see her food intake. I was a bit thrown off why she was jumping back and fourth between soy and dairy products. Omitting dairy only some of the time seems kind of redundant.
My eating habits have changed dramatically the past 2 years and it has definitely shown. I eat similarly to things Bethenny mentioned, but nix the bagels. I'm not fond of bread in large amounts, but don't mind Sara Lee 45 calorie honey whole wheat now and then. Otherwise my whole grains come from whole wheat pastas, brown rice, etc. I eat as many veggies as I want and some sort of fruit at least once a day.
I can't remember the last time I ate meat, and don't really miss it. I've slowly been weeding out diary too which is most difficult because you don't realize how much cheese is used in American cooking. Yikes! Have you read The Kind Diet from Alicia Silverstone? Lots of yummy recipes.
Bottom line, food is confusing. Just chase after that handsome little devil of yours when he starts crawling in the coming months and I bet you'll be feeling like your old self again in no time ;)
Have you thought of getting pregnant again, just for the food?
I watched the Housewives show with my wife. Jeez. And I thought BlogHer was bad with drama.
Thank you Nanners, my love! Good to be back!
Mwah to you, Mary! <3
Char: I'm irritated Bethenny is so much in the public eye after having the baby. While I don't doubt her bonding with the little girl, it does make me question her priorities. And I'm loath to question any mother's priorities, seeing how we usually are harder on ourselves than anyone else can be! And thank you, putting it like that certainly makes me feel better. ;D
Kari, I know what you mean because I omitted dairy for about a half a second on the pediatrician's suggestion and it was difficult. I would wail to R: Do you knoooooow how much dairy is in EVERYTHING? Lol But I do agree, whatever you're doing - keep doing it because you look fabulous! I look forward to getting down to SD and taking many jaunts to the beach with the babe. Thank you for your advice, I very much appreciate it!
Neil, the thought has crossed my mind... ;D And BlogHer drama! Where's THAT post??